In parishes across the world, the “Our Father” is one of the most recognisable and beloved prayers of the Catholic Church. Often recited during Mass, it reflects Christ’s own words and invites the faithful into deep communion with the Father. But despite its familiarity, the way in which Catholics participate in this prayer can vary greatly—particularly when it comes to the practice of holding hands.
Some parishes do it. Others don’t. Some Catholics feel strongly one way or the other. But what does the Church actually say? Is holding hands during the Our Father encouraged, permitted, or discouraged?
This article explores the origins of this modern custom, clarifies Church teaching and liturgical norms, and offers pastoral advice for approaching this topic with reverence and charity.
Table of Contents
The Origins of Holding Hands During the Our Father
The practice of holding hands during the Our Father, particularly in the United States and parts of Europe, is a relatively modern phenomenon. It became more common after the Second Vatican Council (1962–1965), during a period when many parishes began to adopt more participatory gestures within the liturgy.
This gesture is not mentioned in the General Instruction of the Roman Missal (GIRM)—the document that governs how Mass is to be celebrated throughout the Latin Rite of the Catholic Church. Its introduction seems to have developed informally, likely inspired by a desire to express unity, family togetherness, or community spirit.
However, the fact that something is widespread doesn’t necessarily mean it’s sanctioned by the Church—or theologically or liturgically appropriate.
What the Church Actually Says
To date, no official document from the Vatican or the GIRM explicitly endorses or requires holding hands during the Our Father. The Church neither mandates nor strictly prohibits it. This leaves room for interpretation, but also a degree of caution.
The GIRM (§152) outlines what the priest is meant to do during the Our Father—specifically, to extend his hands in the orans posture (hands open, raised slightly). However, it does not prescribe any posture for the laity. This has led to varied practices: some people mimic the priest’s orans posture, others fold their hands, and in some places, people hold hands.
Because there is no instruction for the faithful to hold hands, many liturgists and clergy view the practice as a liturgical innovation—something added that is neither part of official rubrics nor traditional Catholic practice.
In 1992, the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) addressed the question in a letter to a parishioner, stating:
“No position is prescribed in the Roman Missal for an assembly gesture during the Lord’s Prayer.”
This response highlights that holding hands is not forbidden, but also not required. It is a personal or communal choice, not a liturgical norm.
Arguments in Favour of the Practice
Supporters of the gesture often point to the symbolism of unity and fellowship that it fosters. For many families, especially those with children, holding hands feels natural and comforting. It becomes a way to physically express the spiritual bond shared among believers.
Additionally, in a culture that often feels isolated and fragmented, small acts of physical connection can be powerful signs of the Church’s communal identity. For some Catholics, it reinforces that we are not merely individuals in a pew, but the Body of Christ, praying with one heart and one voice.
Arguments Against the Practice
While it may be meaningful to some, others argue that holding hands during the Our Father distracts from the sacredness and vertical orientation of the liturgy. The focus of the Mass, they point out, is on God, not on one another. Liturgical gestures, they argue, should always be rooted in tradition and Church instruction—not in personal or cultural preference.
Additionally, liturgists have raised concerns that the hand-holding custom blurs the line between the ordained and the laity, particularly when the laity mimic the priest’s gestures without instruction. The Mass is not a theatrical performance where gestures are improvised, but a sacred ritual shaped by centuries of theology and prayer.
Others have expressed discomfort at being pressured to hold hands, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic or in the presence of strangers. The absence of an official directive makes the practice feel inconsistent and, at times, awkward or intrusive.
What About the Sign of Peace?
Some Catholics mistakenly conflate the Sign of Peace with the holding of hands during the Our Father. However, the Sign of Peace occurs after the Our Father and is a separate liturgical action entirely. The rubrics clearly instruct the faithful to offer one another “a sign of peace,” which may be a handshake, bow, or other appropriate gesture. Unlike the Our Father, this moment has a prescribed communal element.
Liturgical Unity and Pastoral Sensitivity
So, where does this leave the average Catholic in the pew?
The Church encourages a unity of worship, meaning the faithful are invited to participate in the Mass in ways that are harmonious, reverent, and consistent with the Church’s liturgical norms. While hand-holding is not explicitly forbidden, the lack of official guidance means it should not be expected or enforced—especially in a mixed setting where people may have different preferences.
If you are attending Mass with your family, and hand-holding enhances your experience of prayer, you are not in error. But if you are visiting another parish, especially one where it is not the norm, it is better to follow the local custom—or simply pray with folded hands or in silence.
The key principle is charity and reverence: respect the space, comfort, and prayer of those around you, and avoid allowing personal preferences to disrupt the solemnity of the liturgy.
A Call to Focus on the Lord’s Prayer Itself
Rather than becoming preoccupied with postures or gestures, Catholics should focus on the words of the Our Father. This prayer was given directly by Jesus (cf. Matthew 6:9–13), making it one of the most sacred and powerful prayers in Christianity.
It is not merely a communal activity, but a deeply personal one. When we say “Our Father,” we acknowledge God’s sovereignty, ask for His daily provision, seek His mercy, and commit to forgiving others. These are serious spiritual petitions, not simply recited phrases.
Whether your hands are held, raised, or folded, the heart of the prayer lies in its spiritual depth—not in external gestures.
Final Thoughts: Should You Hold Hands?
In summary:
- The Church does not officially instruct or encourage holding hands during the Our Father.
- It is not required, and should not be expected of others.
- The Mass should prioritise liturgical unity, reverence, and spiritual focus.
- If holding hands helps your family pray together meaningfully, it is permitted—but always practice charity and sensitivity to those around you.
Ultimately, the best posture is the one that helps you pray with attention, devotion, and humility—drawing you closer to the Father through the words Christ Himself taught us.
Suggested Call to Action
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Related Scripture & Catechism
- Matthew 6:9–13 – The Lord’s Prayer
- Catechism of the Catholic Church, §§2759–2865 – The Our Father
- General Instruction of the Roman Missal – §§43, 152
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